Grief Counsellors Answers
Voting Question: What to Check Out When Looking at Mental Health Diagnosis?
I read about a young girl 10-14 diagnosed with depression and suicidal thoughts.
There were a lot of derogatory comments which I wondered why these people even bothered.
Why don't people check these things out first:
Divorce suddenly equals a diagnosis of depression?
How much Zoloft was Maryanne prescribed?
Do people know the side effects cause sedation, anxiety, depression and suicidal thoughts?
Why can't people be taught communication skills rather than drugged up for appropriate reactions to "grief".
Grief is a loss, and most people are not taught how to grieve, their just taught take two pills and come back when you need more.
Psychologists counsel, Psychiatrists prescribe drugs.
Counsellors counsel,
And some good organisations like "Bethel" teach people how to grieve, journal and process their feelings, rather than suppress them with drugs that have side effects that usually inflame the feelings and sedate the user.
What is wrong with feeling sad, when something bad happens.... Are we a society of robots suddently...... I thought we were known as the human race...... What do you think?
moreResolved Question: Who's fault is it when someone commits suicide?
I'm going to have to relate this one to a story.
At my college there was this one guy who got picked on all through the first year, I don't really know why, I suppose he was a bit different than the others. He didn't come from as rich a family, like me he got a government grant to go to college and so we both got beat about a bit for that, and he seemed to like reading and writing maybe more than football and parties.
Anyway, by the time it got to second year, the other guys at college had grown out of teasing us, they were trying to get girlfriends so they stuck with just shunning us and perhaps beating us up after school if they had some energy to work off. I knew this guy a bit but I hardly ever saw him because my timetable got messed up, but he spent a lot of time in the library reading, and we'd usually sit next to each other and do work there in lunchtimes and stuff. We used to stick together but he got really withdrawn all of a sudden and I noticed him crying a couple of times. I got worried about him, my family has a bit of a history with mental health problems and he looked like he should go and see a counsellor or someone. I reckon that freaked him though because he started avoiding me around campus. I found out later through my own 'investigation' that this group of guys had been bullying him over the internet, and threatening to hurt his family.
Anyway, then I got suspended for a month for getting in a fight about some idiot being racist, but that's neither here nor there.
When I was allowed back to college, I found out that this guy had hanged himself. There was a bit about it in the college newsletter, and there were all these people who hated him and used to beat on him every single day saying 'oh how dreadful, how sad he didn't get the help he needed'. And a statement from the college principal about how it was all down to him being under pressure about doing his exams, when he used to joke about failing exams because he was so good at them. And two weeks later it was all forgotten. For months I've been hating myself for not trying to contact him when I was off college and not helping more, but now it seems to me that the people at fault are the hypocrites who made his life hell and then faked grief afterwards. And looking around at other people and also the media, it seems much the same. I mean, the papers are always rambling on about how teenagers moan so much when they have such an easy life these days, and I for one have never received so much as a friendly word from any of the staff at any schools or colleges I went to growing up. There's definitely no help I'm aware of at my college for people feeling low. And then someone kills themselves and suddenly everyone says how sad it is and isn't it a tragedy no one helped.
So anyway, I apologise for my very long ramble, and I thank you if you're still here after reading all that! I suppose my question is, do you think people are hypocritical when it comes to teenage mental health, with no one wanting to take responsibility? When something happens then everyone is quick to say how sorry they are, but no one wants to actually help someone with mental issues so it is ignored until it is too late. It tends to really knock my faith in the human capacity for emotion when people must be able to see something is wrong, but do nothing. Has anyone else had any experiences like that? Again, really really sorry for the long ramble.
moreResolved Question: Is selfishness a 'normal' part of grief?
I am 21 and I live with my dad and my 16 year old sister, and my one year old son. My mum, who we also lived with, died in December, very unexpectedly, and needless to say we're all just in our own personal hell right now.
My question is because all our lives, my dad has been a very strong character and without fail always put my sister and I before anything. (Not by spoiling us - we've been well grounded - but I mean with the important things). But since all this... I don't know, it's difficult to explain. He's just not there as a father for us any more. It's all about his grief for his lost wife. Anything we feel comes secondary to that. We need to do what makes him feel better, even if it makes us feel worse, and it's been that way ever since this happened and doesn't seem to be letting up - for example we're constantly dragged from pillar to post to be with him so he can be with other people, and I hate being around people constantly at the best of times but especially now, I feel like it's numbing my grief having to constantly stay strong around others, I just want some time to get my feelings out by myself, I can feel myself growing number by the day. When his friends are talking to him, he will naturally spend a long time talking about how he is etc, but when they ask how my sister and I are - his response is, 'they're fine/ok/resiliant'. When in reality, he hasn't even asked us how we are. We are better at bottling it up because we have to to keep everything going. Inside I'm screaming. And yes all this has come out in arguments we've had in recent weeks, and I've also tried as best as I can to explain this to him when I've been calm, that we need more from him because we have no support right now. But it's changed nothing, and there's obviously only so much I can say, I don't doubt the sincerity of his feelings and I don't want to destroy him more than he already is. (Although I sometimes want to scream at him - he made her life hell for the last few months, she died thinking she wasn't loved because of him, and he turned the family against her and he even manipulated me to an extent right at the end - she was an alcoholic and she needed help but all she got was his abuse - all the way I stuck up for her and was there for her and I was the closest to her and spent all my time with her - and sometimes I f*cking hate my dad for lapping up all this sympathy while I'm apparently 'fine' when he never acted like he cared in the first place - but that is something I will never say to me and I do know that that anger is just my grief speaking).
Anyway I'm digressing - so today, he went to the doctors saying he was going to sort himself out, and came back saying he'd arranged for himself to see a bereavement counsellor. He never even bothered to ask if we'd like to do the same - and my sister has even expressed a wish to go to counselling a few weeks ago, which he has ignored, and she is nervous to go to the doctors alone.
Additionally to all this are his moodswings - he behaves like a teenager, I feel like I am his parent sometimes. Throws a strop if he doesn't get his own way, storms out of rooms, etc. And if he's having a bad day, he doesn't come and talk about it, he comes downstairs screaming at us when we've done nothing. I am studying a full time degree from home as well as looking after my son full time, and I'm more than happy to do more than my fair share of housework, always have been and of course more so now, but we live in a large house and the list of stuff he gives me to do takes me literally the entire day, I don't spend enough time with my son and I'm majorly behind with my course. And if by the time he gets back, it isn't all done, he's screaming at me for not being as good as my mum.
I just want to know if this is a natural thing for a grieving husband - this behaviour is SO out of character for him and I'm getting to the point where I'm worried some of that inner anger I'm feeling will spill out, which I really don't want to happen. I'm so resentful, I'm now trapped here living with him because my sister will be at uni before long and he's already talked about the fact that he won't cope alone. My family stopped me from going to London to pursue a career in nursing in a top university that I was accepted into - and now it seems I can't so much as move out of my own house into the next village. I can cope with living here for a few years if I'm living with a reasonable person. But if it goes on like this, it's just like being trapped in a living nightmare. More than anything I would like some time to grieve properly, but this situation is pushing all that away and it's scaring me.
moreVoting Question: Is selfishness a 'normal' part of grief?
I am 21 and I live with my dad and my 16 year old sister, and my one year old son. My mum, who we also lived with, died in December, very unexpectedly, and needless to say we're all just in our own personal hell right now.
My question is because all our lives, my dad has been a very strong character and without fail always put my sister and I before anything. (Not by spoiling us - we've been well grounded - but I mean with the important things). But since all this... I don't know, it's difficult to explain. He's just not there as a father for us any more. It's all about his grief for his lost wife. Anything we feel comes secondary to that. We need to do what makes him feel better, even if it makes us feel worse, and it's been that way ever since this happened and doesn't seem to be letting up - for example we're constantly dragged from pillar to post to be with him so he can be with other people, and I hate being around people constantly at the best of times but especially now, I feel like it's numbing my grief having to constantly stay strong around others, I just want some time to get my feelings out by myself, I can feel myself growing number by the day. When his friends are talking to him, he will naturally spend a long time talking about how he is etc, but when they ask how my sister and I are - his response is, 'they're fine/ok/resiliant'. When in reality, he hasn't even asked us how we are. We are better at bottling it up because we have to to keep everything going. Inside I'm screaming. And yes all this has come out in arguments we've had in recent weeks, and I've also tried as best as I can to explain this to him when I've been calm, that we need more from him because we have no support right now. But it's changed nothing, and there's obviously only so much I can say, I don't doubt the sincerity of his feelings and I don't want to destroy him more than he already is. (Although I sometimes want to scream at him - he made her life hell for the last few months, she died thinking she wasn't loved because of him, and he turned the family against her and he even manipulated me to an extent right at the end - she was an alcoholic and she needed help but all she got was his abuse - all the way I stuck up for her and was there for her and I was the closest to her and spent all my time with her - and sometimes I f*cking hate my dad for lapping up all this sympathy while I'm apparently 'fine' when he never acted like he cared in the first place - but that is something I will never say to me and I do know that that anger is just my grief speaking).
Anyway I'm digressing - so today, he went to the doctors saying he was going to sort himself out, and came back saying he'd arranged for himself to see a bereavement counsellor. He never even bothered to ask if we'd like to do the same - and my sister has even expressed a wish to go to counselling a few weeks ago, which he has ignored, and she is nervous to go to the doctors alone.
Additionally to all this are his moodswings - he behaves like a teenager, I feel like I am his parent sometimes. Throws a strop if he doesn't get his own way, storms out of rooms, etc. And if he's having a bad day, he doesn't come and talk about it, he comes downstairs screaming at us when we've done nothing. I am studying a full time degree from home as well as looking after my son full time, and I'm more than happy to do more than my fair share of housework, always have been and of course more so now, but we live in a large house and the list of stuff he gives me to do takes me literally the entire day, I don't spend enough time with my son and I'm majorly behind with my course. And if by the time he gets back, it isn't all done, he's screaming at me for not being as good as my mum.
I just want to know if this is a natural thing for a grieving husband - this behaviour is SO out of character for him and I'm getting to the point where I'm worried some of that inner anger I'm feeling will spill out, which I really don't want to happen. I'm so resentful, I'm now trapped here living with him because my sister will be at uni before long and he's already talked about the fact that he won't cope alone. My family stopped me from going to London to pursue a career in nursing in a top university that I was accepted into - and now it seems I can't so much as move out of my own house into the next village. I can cope with living here for a few years if I'm living with a reasonable person. But if it goes on like this, it's just like being trapped in a living nightmare. More than anything I would like some time to grieve properly, but this situation is pushing all that away and it's scaring me.
moreResolved Question: My panic attacks are making it hard to escape from my parents?
My parents are driving me crazy. I cant talk to them or anything. my dad is a recovering alcoholic who spends his time playing the ps2 and shouting, and my mum works all day and then comes home to play online bingo. it's pathetic. I CAN'T TALK TO THEM ABOUT ANYTHING. they snap at anything, and every night i end up in my room crying.
I'm 18, I suffer from panic and anxiety disorder, which means i have trouble leaving the house. i can go places in the car, but not into buildings. i sometimes try going walks to get out but i still have to come back and suffer them shouting or swearing.
I attend a counsellor but because it's Xmas Break i dont have a next appointment until mid-january next year.
I want more than anything to be ABLE to just get out, go and work, and leave the home. But I can't. I know i might someday. with the help of the psychiatrist, but not...just yet.
My parents don't listen to my problems, they're not interested in the Fact that i feel depressed and LONELY, all the time, and whenever i want them to take me places to try and see if i can manage it, it's a no. it would help if they supported me, but they don't.
I can't talk to them...even if i said "can i talk to you because im feeling a bit low?" they would tell me to get lost, in swear words.
Dad has caused us grief with his drinking before, and that's how i became a nervous wreck, and got My Panic attacks.
I'm sick of it.
moreResolved Question: Why did the Jews deny Christ as the Messiah?
Isa 53:5-12 He was WOUNDED FOR OUR TRANSGRESSIONS, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and BY HIS STRIPES WE ARE HEALED. 6 All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned every one to his own way; and YHWH HATH LAID ON HIM THE INIQUITY OF US ALL. 7 He was oppressed, and HE WAS AFFLICTED, yet HE OPENED NOT HIS MOUTH: he is brought AS A LAMB TO THE SLAUGHTER, & as a sheep before her shearers is dumb, so he openeth not his mouth. 8 He was taken from prison and from judgment: and who shall declare his generation? for he was cut off out of the land of the living: FOR THE TRANSGRESSION OF MY PEOPLE WAS HE STRICKEN. 9 And he made his grave with the wicked, and with the rich in his death; because HE HAD DONE NO VIOLENCE, NEITHER WAS ANY DECEIT IN HIS MOUTH. 10 Yet it pleased YHWH to bruise him; he hath put him to grief: when thou shalt make his soul an offering for sin, he shall see his seed, he shall prolong his days, and the pleasure of YHWH shall prosper in his hand. 11 He shall see of the travail of his soul, and shall be satisfied: by his knowledge SHALL MY RIGHTEOUS SERVANT JUSTIFY MANY; FOR HE SHALL BEAR THEIR INIQUITIES. 12 Therefore will I divide him a portion with the great, and he shall divide the spoil with the strong; because HE hath POURED OUT HIS SOUL UNTO DEATH: and he was numbered with the transgressors; and HE BARE THE SIN OF MANY, & MADE INTERCESSION FOR THE TRANSGRESSORS.
Ps 22 My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me? why art thou so far from helping me, and from the words of my roaring? … 3 But thou art holy, O thou that inhabitest the praises of Israel. 4 Our fathers trusted in thee: they trusted, and thou didst deliver them. 5 They cried unto thee, and were delivered: they trusted in thee, and were not confounded. 6 But I am a worm, and no man; A REPROACH OF MEN, & DESPISED OF THE PEOPLE. 7 All they that see me LAUGH ME TO SCORN: they shoot out the lip, they shake the head, saying, 8 HE TRUSTED ON YHWH that he would deliver him: LET HIM DELIVER HIM, SEEING HE DELIGHTED IN HIM. … 11 Be not far from me; for trouble is near; for there is NONE TO HELP. 12 Many bulls have compassed me: strong bulls of Bashan have beset me round. 13 They gaped upon me with their mouths, as a ravening and a roaring lion. 14 I AM POURED OUT LIKE WATER, & ALL MY BONES ARE OUT OF JOINT: my heart is like wax; it is melted in the midst of my bowels. 15 My strength is dried up like a potsherd; & MY TONGUE CLEAVETH TO MY JAWS; & thou hast brought me into the dust of death. 16 For DOGS HAVE COMPASSED ME: the assembly of the wicked have inclosed me: THEY PIERCED MY HANDS & MY FEET. 17 I MAY TELL ALL MY BONES: they look and stare upon me. 18 THEY PART MY GARMENTS among them, & CAST LOTS UPON MY VESTURE. 19 But be not thou far from me, O YHWH: O my strength, haste thee to help me. 20 Deliver my soul from the sword; my darling from the power of the dog. … 22 I will declare thy name unto my brethren: in the midst of the congregation will I praise thee. 23 Ye that fear YHWH, praise him; ALL YE THE SEED OF JACOB, GLORIFY HIM; and fear him, all ye the seed of Israel. 24 FOR HE HATH NOT DESPISED NOR ABHORRED THE AFFLICTION OF THE AFFLICTED; neither hath he hid his face from him; but when he cried unto him, he heard. 25 My praise shall be of thee in the great congregation: I will pay my vows before them that fear him. 26 The meek shall eat and be satisfied: THEY SHALL PRAISE YHWH that SEEK HIM: your heart shall live for ever. 27 ALL THE ENDS OF THE WORLD SHALL REMEMBER & TURN UNTO YHWH: & ALL THE KINDREDS OF THE NATIONS SHALL WORSHIP BEFORE THEE. 28 For the kingdom is YHWH’s: and he is the governor among the nations. 29 All they that be fat upon earth shall eat and worship: all they that go down to the dust shall bow before him: and none can keep alive his own soul. 30 A seed shall serve him; it shall be accounted to the Lord for a generation. 31 They shall come, & shall declare his righteousness unto A PEOPLE THAT SHALL BE BORN, THAT HE HATH DONE THIS.
Isa 9:6-7 For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful Counsellor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace. 7 Of the increase of his government and peace there shall be no end, upon the throne of David, and upon his kingdom, to order it, and to establish it with judgment and with justice from henceforth even for ever. The zeal of YHWH of hosts will perform this.
1 Sam 8:5-7 And said unto him, Behold, thou art old, and thy sons walk not in thy ways: now make us a king to judge us like all the nations. 6 But the thing displeased Samuel, when they said, Give us a king to judge us. And Samuel prayed unto YHWH. 7 And YHWH said to Samuel, Hearken unto the voice of the people in all that they say unto thee: for they have not rejected thee, but THEY HAVE REJECTED ME, that I should not reign over them.
1Sam 10:19 & ye havethis day rejected your God, who himself saved you out of all your adversities & your tribulations; & ye have said unto him, Nay, but set a king over us. Now therefore present yourselves before YHWH by your tribes, & by your thousands.
1Sam 12:12 & when ye saw that Nahash the king of the children of Ammon came against you, ye said unto me, Nay; but a king shall reign over us: when YHWH your God was your king.
1Sam 12:17-19 Is it not wheat harvest to day? I will call unto YHWH, & He shall send thunder & rain; that ye may perceive & see your wickedness is great, which ye have done in the sight of theYHWH in asking you a king.18 So Samuel called unto YHWH; & YHWH sent thunder & rain that day: & all the people greatly feared YHWH & Samuel. 19 & all the people said unto Samuel, Pray for thy servants unto YHWH thy God, that we die not: for we have added unto all our sins this evil, to ask us a king.
Isa 43:11 I, even I, am YHWH; & beside me there is no saviour.
Isa 45:21 Tell ye, & bring themnear; yea, let them take counsel together: who hath declared this from ancient time? who hath told it from that time? have not I YHWH? & there is no God else beside me; a just God & a Saviour; there is none beside me.
Hosea 13:4 Yet I am YHWH thy God from the land of Egypt, & thou shalt know no god but me: for there is no saviour beside me.
Mat 1:23 Behold, a maid shall be with child, & shall bring forth a son, & they shall call his name Emmanuel, which being interpreted is, God with us.
Micah 5:2 But thou, Bethlehem Ephratah, though thou be little among the thousands of Judah, yet out of thee shall he come forth unto me that is to be ruler in Israel; whose goings forth have been from of old, from everlasting.
Heb 10:5 Wherefore when he cometh into the world, he saith, Sacrifice & offering thou wouldest not, but a body hast thou prepared me:
Zech 12:10 & I will pour upon the house of David, & upon the inhabitants of Jerusalem, the spirit of grace & of supplications: & THEY SHALL LOOK UUPON ME WHOM THEY HAVE PIERCED, & they shall mourn for him, as one mourneth for his only son, & shall be in bitterness for him, as one that is in bitterness for his firstborn.
Deut 4:35 Unto thee it was shewed, that thou mightest know that YHWH he is God; there is none else beside him.
Mal 2:10 Have we not all one father? hath not one God created us? why do we deal treacherously every man against his brother, by profaning the covenant of our fathers?
Zech 14:9 & YHWH shall be KING over all the earth: in that day shall there be one YHWH, & His name one.Please read these verses in Your own Scriptures carefully & then answer regarding what concepts they convey of who's the Messiah.Kosher Jewish Spy™ JPA - please take a moment to give a more concise, less vauge answer... are not these same verses in your own scriptures?Gorgeoustx Go Spurs Go!! - Your statement about no second chances cannot be substantiated by the pre- Christ scriptures... later traditions & teachings of men who rejected the Messiah's first coming obviously are just that.Plushy_Bear JPA - thank you for a descent Jewish answer thus far... I am interested in learning about the subject... right now, i'm finding it difficult to look into any one answer in great depth for the multitude of answers... I'll try & get back to you.I would say alot of you are refuting the translation... yet I've read many of these passages in Jewish translations, so what specifically are you refuting? - Don't give me the ol this language cannot be translated into that language argument... it's as bogus as they come... Also I would like to see the original Hebrew as compared to the definition & other such uses of the words you refute the translations of... Otherwise you're wasting everybody's time with false accusations that do not shine any light at all.Cher - I don't deny Judaism as correct reading of Torah... Is there a free computerized version of the Torah & prophets b4 Christ you know of which I can use to draw the texts from?
I know virgin is not in the original Hebrew & I tried to substitute maid for virgin... If I missed this somewhere, I do apologize... I do try to get it as correct to the original as possible... I was not however born a Jew & like you stated... Jews don't care what others believe... But I do try... I cannot go back & change anything in my question or post... so if I make any errors please do overlook them.BROOK - I'll go my way, you go yours... My question is still a valid one & not intended to ruffle your feathers or refute your beliefs. I appreciate the answers of those giving me homework... It'll be interesting & time consuming, but I appreciate it. I still see no real explanation... perhaps in the homework I'll find some reasonable answers... I'm sure there must be some reasonable answers for this.KosherNinja PaperbackWriter - I appreciate your post & the work you've given... I am researching your work now... דקר daqar - clearly means "thrust through" as it is properly translated in ~8 other verses... Yet, not sure what the difference is in definitions? Don't they both mean, "To thrust into, penetrate, or transfix, with a pointed instrument. It's a small detail... I'll keep researching.Ok, Isa 53:10
if his soul makes itself restitution (acknowledge guilt) vs
whenH518 thou shalt makeH7760 his soulH5315 an offering for sin,H817
H817 is clearly used repeatedly for “trespass offering”
H5315 clearly means life, breath of life, or soul
H7760 clearly means “to put place or set”
So we have (his soul) (made) (trespass offering)
& H518 can mean: if, shall, when, or, except, will not, however… Gen 38:9 It is rather neutral to both sides… So it can mean either depending on the reader / translator… Neither can really be called a mis-translation scholastically, except only by personal convictions & emotions… It’s a Tomato or Tamato.
Nothing strong enough to call the other ungodly over.So far I have not seen any strong arguments to discount Jesus as Christ only personal opinions... I really expected more... I am still looking, but I'd like at least one concise & valid answer... obviously If I'm the one having to do the research... they are not very concise answers.IS IT TRUE... "JPA" STANDS FOR JEWISH PAGAN ALIANCE?!! WHY WOULD ANY GODLY RELIGION FORM AN ALIANCE WITH PAGANS? I mean, I know jews have done so throughout the scriptures... But today???& it certainly wasn't a godly thing for those who did so back then... Do you feel God has to honor such as who form such alliances?Still seems as a whole, these verses point to someone who would come & fulfill them... a Christ.& I would definitely have to add, Jesus nor any truly faithful would ever form an alliance with Pagans.
moreResolved Question: Is it true that Miley Cyrus is dead ?
http://www.prlog.org/10114362-grief-counsellors-help-children-cope-with-cyrus-death.html
moreResolved Question: Is miley cyris RLY dead??
omg i'm freaking out i just saw this article:
http://www.prlog.org/10114362-grief-counsellors-help-children-cope-with-cyrus-death.html
omg i'm so scared. she really was an hero to me and my sister. wat could have happened?!?!????
moreResolved Question: How can I control my anxiety?
My anxiety just keep shooting up. I have PTSD, Chronic Grief & Chronic Depression. I am seeing a trauma counsellor once a week, a care worker once a fortnight and I take amitriptylene and promazine.
I try hard to distract myself and keep my mind busy, but it doesn't work. I feel so sick with anxiety and my chest feels really tight.
Just wondered if anyone has found a way of controlling it or overcoming the way it makes me feel.
Many thanks.
moreResolved Question: Whats the best way to deal with a suicide in the family?
My nan committed suicide over the weekend, to be honest i think i am in denial about the whole thing, as if she is still here.
Whenever i think about it i just feel angry. She's tried this a couple of times before and suffered from Bipolar. I too suffer from Bipolar and i just feel such a hypocrite being angry with her because i know how hard living with it is.
My aunt committed suicide 8 years ago, i think i was too young then for it to affect me as much but now losing my nan is making me unstable and it's easier for me to pretend it hasn't happened.
I DON'T want to see a grief counsellor so please don't suggest this, i have enough people trying to tell me how to feel.
I'd appreciate advise from people who have had a loved one commit suicide,
Thankyou.I appreciate people are saying "pray" etc. it may work for you when you are going through a hard time but i am not religious in the slightest.
moreResolved Question: I am a Summer camp administrator and have a child who lost a parent right before camp any advice??
I work at an all girls (none religious) camp and would like some advice to pass on to my counsellors to help them work with a 9 year old who recently lost her mother. The child is very open to distraction and is very willing to talk and participate in group activities but is battling so hard against her very obvious grief. Once there is any down time she begins crying and becomes almost inconsolable. I dont have alot of experience with this level of grief in young children and really want to be able to support my staff and this child so that they all get the most from the experience. Any help or advice is appreciated.
moreResolved Question: How to deal with a partner who won't talk?
How do you deal with a partner who won't talk?
My marriage looks like it's coming to an end ... it's ridiculous ... petty arguments which turn in to monster conflicts ... accusations with nothing to back it up apart from 'a gut feeling' ...
I tried calling, texting etc ... but I only get abuse ... I want to talk (not argue) but she's unwilling ...
How on earth do you get someone 160 miles away to talk to you?
I'm put off of ringing again because all I get is grief, accusations, blame and rejection ...
The funny thing is ... the person I want to talk to is training to be a counsellor!!! How do you get someone to practice what they preach?*** Matt Man ***
Have you got any spare? I think I need some!!*** Her royal shyness ***
I sent letters in the past, they were either sent back or put in the bin ...
moreResolved Question: How will grief affect my baby?
I'm 20 weeks pregnant with a widdle girl. My pet bird passed away this morning and of course I'm very upset. I know this is going to keep me awake at night with guilt as I feel I could have done more to prevent this happening (although my family insist there's nothing I could have done).
Do you have any advice for me? Should I speak to a counsellor or doctor? Thanks for you answer.
moreResolved Question: How do I become a counsellor for military personell as a civillian?
I'd really like to help soliders with PTSD and other issues, grief, depression and what not. I'm currently working on my bach. degree in psych. So how would I go about helping them out? Links, personal expeirence, etc, would be greatly appreciated!I currently am an active duty solider, but I get out of army pretty darn soon.
moreVoting Question: How can I get over someone after 10 years?
10 years ago, I left the love of my life(stupid), and now I cannot get over him. No matter how I try to forget the past, and move on with my life, I am always reminded of him. Now a 32 yr old single mom, I am currently in a not-so-good relationship, and trying to make it work. I just don't know if i will ever be able to have a decent relationship with anyone after having been with such an amazing person. I love my current boyfriend, I just don't know if I am IN love with him, because I don't have the same kind of feelings for him. I want to have that happiness again. I haven't been truly happy for 10 years, and recently went on anti-depressants, because I just can't cope with the grief. I have been to counsellors, it doesn't help. Please, serious advice only. Thanks.
moreResolved Question: Appreciating the variety of human experience and culture...?
I'm studying to be a counsellor and I'm having trouble with one of the tasks on my task sheet.
It's using the BACP Ethical Framework for good practice in counselling and psychotherapy, and the task says to pick three values of counselling and psychotherapy and give a definition of each.
One of the values I've chosen is 'Appreciating the variety of human experience and culture', but I'm having trouble defining it.
Does it mean being aware that clients will be from many different backgrounds, etc...
or does it mean being aware that clients problems will differ due to past experiences or lifestyles or cultures and not to treat them the same. For example, if two clients were recieving grief counselling, client A could react and feel differently that client B, so they shouldn't be treated the same...I hope that makes sense, I'm having real trouble putting what I mean into words, lol.
moreVoting Question: Do I really need to go to a counsellor?
Basically it all started because I needed an extension for a piece of work.
I was refered to Student Guidence & Support to explain my reasons for wanting one. So I began my story.....which involves the death of my ex boyfriend and how that has affected my ability to keep on top of work as well as recent illnessess.
Anyways I was telling the whole story and for some reason when the woman said "So u've been coping with grief..." I started to cry! OMG so embarrassing!
Anyways she has advised me to come back for a chat and see one of the University counsellors...
But is this necessary?
Doesnt going mean I am admitting I have some kind of problem?
Coz really I am coping fine! Have my good days and my bad....like everyone else right? x
My mum thinks it would be good for me....
But I'm not sure!
moreResolved Question: Just wondering what this quote from "The Tempest" means?
Gonzalo (The wise, old counsellor): When every grief is entertain'd that's offer'd, Comes to the entertainer --
Sebastian (the king's brother): A dollar.
Gonzalo: Dolour comes to him, indeed: you have spoken truer than you purposed.
From Act II, Scene IWell, I don't understand Gonzalo's first line.
Here's the context, maybe it will help:
GONZALO: Beseech you, sir, be merry; you have cause,
So have we all, of joy; for our escape
Is much beyond our loss. Our hint of woe
Is common; every day some sailor's wife,
The masters of some merchant and the merchant
Have just our theme of woe; but for the miracle,
I mean our preservation, few in millions
Can speak like us: then wisely, good sir, weigh
Our sorrow with our comfort.
ALONSO: Prithee, peace.
SEBASTIAN: He receives comfort like cold porridge.
ANTONIO: The visitor will not give him o'er so.
SEBASTIAN: Look he's winding up the watch of his wit;
by and by it will strike.
GONZALO: Sir,--
SEBASTIAN: One: tell.
GONZALO: When every grief is entertain'd that's offer'd,
Comes to the entertainer--
SEBASTIAN: A dollar.
GONZALO: Dolour comes to him, indeed: you
have spoken truer than you purposed.Thank you, Andy F!
moreResolved Question: i want to use my death as a signal of my suffering?
im on a break and my grandparents, especially my grandma won't let me enjoy myself. she hid my favourite videos and DVDs. she criticizes me about how im fat and a lot of other things that'll be too much to put here. she's always very scornful and whenever she comes near me even though i don't see her, im very sensitive about what she's going to say, at least it's about telling me what to do. it's like an alarm that goes off right away. im suffered from severe depression and anxiety for about 6 or 7 years by myself and i cried a lot lately when my grandparents stress me about studying even though my tutor says that i don't need to for an exam because there's nothing i can do, this exams different from other exams in the university. im 18 btw. when i was crying i thought about slitting my wrist in the kitchen with a big knife and my grandma also started to kind of cry or grief even though i didn't tell her. she doesn't want me to see a counsellor or a doctor, but i did anyways.she told not to take any meds because it lowers my intelligence and i won't be able to study anymore and they'll make me mentally ill. she names all these devils whenever i tell her about a different situation. i go through these kind of things most of the time. could my depression and anxiety be from living with my grandparents? my parents got divorced, but i didn't care about that and felt nothing, but i spent most of my time alone after grade 5. right now i thought about doing drugs, why not take them. i come to their house on the weekend, but should i never come back? im at home right now because i don't have VHS at my dorm and my home seems to be better somehow with even all these things going on, but that's after the storm has gone. i used to throw things or do things inappropriate to relieve stress, but now i cry instead, but it's inappropriate to show my anger in those ways.
moreResolved Question: to become a grief counsellor, what do I need to take, and can I do it by correspondence?
moreResolved Question: What is the world coming to? Harry Potter fans are to be given extra childline workers to help them deal with?
the grief if the character is killed off.Can't people nowadays distinguish between reality and make believe? I am totally incredulous. What next, bereavement counsellors if a goldfish dies?Oops, sorry ?!..of course I meant to say "The POSSIBLE" death of MAYBE one of the characters..."
Phew! Do you think anyone noticed? I don't want to be responsible for any suicides.George Graham, your English is so bad I can't work out what you're trying to say.
Please repeat in proper English what is kids noob and griefing??sorry, greifing..
moreResolved Question: Do you think this song title is OFFENSIVE?
It is from a real band called An*l Cu*t and is called:
I became a grief counsellor so I could tell rape victims they deserved it.
I think it is offensive!!! If you think it offensive and want to help ban it give me a star
moreResolved Question: the question for my earlier post about my son's anger?
is that I can't keep going on with this whole attitude of his whereby he takes everything out on either ME or himself. He's sabotaging his own life in small ways and lashing out at me and his step-father and I cannot keep putting up with it. Every attempt we have made to help him and everything we've done for him has been shoved back in our faces and he's refused everything. I'm tired of still being understanding and getting nothing but grief in return. I'm tired of trying to offer him anything and everything and still being painted as the source of al his woes when the source is his FATHER but he will not just admit that and move on from there. So, tough love time? The school counsellor is talking about psychiatric evaluation. I would just like him to face what the REAL problem is instead of striking out at everyone around him who actually DOES care. INstead, he just wants to feel sorry for himself when there's TONS of support all around him.
What am I supposed to do with that?http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AvRhI1ezQFgLcqJ7kIuqTAN87hR.?qid=20070515113217AARUTPsyes, he was involved in our church's youth group. Every time they had some kind of event, he'd come back complaining that everyone treats him insensitively. Apparently the whole world is insensitive to him. He ignores the fact that he tends to be very snide and smug with his opinions - it's everyone else you see!
We have in fact tried to get him involved in many different groups and activities but short of physically forcing him to atttend, he refuses and there isn't much we can do. I'm amazed he manages to go to a writers' group once a month. He probably wouldn't do that if I didn't remind himthe reason I say his problems are because of his father is that everything goes along just fine but then when his father lets him down then SUDDENLY he's all angry and telling us he hates US and his school work suffers and etc then when his father calls him up and talks to him and promises to see him SUDDENLY he's all happy and fine. I can't stop his father from calling. That's not my right. I'm sure he has issues with me and his step-father outside of his issues with his bio-dad (who doesn't?) but that's not what seems to set him off.
moreResolved Question: Are you thinking of giving your baby up for adoption?
FACT: Losing a child to adoption involves the same type of grief as losing a child to death or miscarriage. The difference is that it is FAR worse. There is no closure.
A child lost to miscarriage or death is not taken against the mother's wishes and given to strangers to raise with the deliberate plan that the mother would never see her own child again. Joe Soll in his book Adoption Healing likens adoption grief to psychological death, which is a very different reality from a physical death because there is no closure - no support for the feelings of loss, no grieving and mourning period. With adoption, there is no closure. With miscarriage or death, there is no coercion.
A professional counsellor states: "I know two women who lost children to adoption, later had another child who they raised and then the child died. Both of them respond the same to the question 'Which was worse?' They have no trouble stating that losing the child to adoption was worse, because there is no closure and no end to the grief."
http://www.keepyourbaby.com/adoption_myths.html#MYTH1I am PRO-CHOICE , this is information, AS STATED IN THE QUESTION, for those girls or women who have ruled out abortion and are thinking about giving their baby up for adoption. They are vulnerable and there are paid professionals who are telling them how "wonderful and strong" they're being for giving their baby to a "good home". Please if you are in that situation, visit the website. If you aren't would you please refrain from talking about something you don't know any thing about. Thanks.Kristina, thanks for your comments, I believe that all children deserve a good home, with their real, natural parents as a first choice. Unless you've been through this, I don't think you can understand the ramifications of giving your child up for adoption, ESPECIALLY IF YOU REALLY DON'T WANT TO, BUT EVERYONE AROUND YOU IS TELLING YOU IT WOULD BE BEST. If you want to keep your baby, it can be done and you can and will be a good parent.
Don't agree to anything until you've held your child in your arms.
Personally I would choose abortion over adoption any day.LoriBeth, I am so sorry that you lost your daughter, that is horrible. What I don't understand is why you would be answering a question about adoption. It doesn't make sense.
I didn't write the quotes, those were taken from mothers who had given one child up for adoption and then had another child they kept, but unfortunately died.
Ask them. They have lived both.
Did you visit the site? Please do so before passing judgement.ONCE AGAIN... THIS IS WRITTEN 4 THOSE THINKING OF GIVING UP THEIR BABY 4 ADOPTION....
did u visit t/website?
For those who are thinking of giving your child up 4 adoption, these are the kind of idiotic remarks U will have to listen to 4 t/rest of UR lives.BY THE WAY, ABORTION IS LEGAL !!!!!!! DEAL WITH IT.
moreResolved Question: My wife died in March I donot want to take off my ring what should I do ?
I went through a great deal while we were together those three short years. Her clothes are still in her dresser her wheelchair is still in the living room.Her dresses are still in the closet, I know that she is in a place freeof pain. That is all I wanted for her while she was with me. Please do not tell me to see a grief counsellor
moreResolved Question: Do murderers deserve counselling? read on..?
I was watching a program in the BBC about life behind bars in UK. They interview inmates and staff and so on... In an interview with one of the counsellors, he talked a bit about the psychological therapy murderers received, and the thing is, sometimes they miss the person they have killed, and feel tortured by this, because they are finally mourning someone they killed themselves, I guess it must be torture, but after what they have done, is it fair?
Do they deserve to be treated? Or should they be left with all that guilt, grief and well, the whole psychological torture. Should we treat them as human beings and give an example of how they should treat others, without judgement. OR are we getting in the way of karma, well.. life, what’s coming to them anyway.
No silly answers please, I didn't ask a silly question..but I'll post a silly one soon.
Should this be in Sociology? I wasnt sure..I'm just asking, I'm not saying if it' s wrong or right, can't decide if it shows evolution or is just being over protective
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